Waterproof (a poem)

Torrential rains are only funny
When my waterproof watch
Is actually waterproof,
When I remember the poncho
Of my waterproof backpack,
When my waterproof camera case
Doesn’t soak through.

Torrential rains are only funny
When there are no dead termites
In my sopping wet hair,
When I have the foresight
To wear waterproof shoes,
When I have an umbrella
Or my waterproof jacket.

I need an umbrella.
And a new watch.
It’s 7:10 last Wednesday.

...

Okay, so I’m not a poet. But I AM an idiot. Turns out the poncho that makes my backpack super waterproof was in the bag the whole time and I didn’t realize it until days later, so all this could have been prevented. Except, of course, the termites. Welcome to Swaziland. (Good news, though, is that my camera dried out so it works now.)

In related news, the storm of the century, which happened Friday evening, was the scariest thing I've ever seen. It was perfectly nice outside, then there was this big roaring thunder-like thing that wasn't thunder but turned out was a HUGE (and I mean HUGE) gust of wind that actually blew the roof off my neighbor's house (yeah, HUGE). This was followed almost immediately by torrential rains (see above) that flooded my house because when it happened I was in the process of shaving down the side of my door because it had swelled and I couldn't get it closed, which means I didn't have a door handle on it and the rain and wind kept blowing it open despite the fact that there was 40 liters of water up against the door. That's how ridiculous it was. So after about 15 minutes of strong winds and rain (during which I cuddled with the dog who had taken refuge from the rain in my house, which now smells like wet dog) it stopped and the sun came out and it was like nothing had ever happened. Except that Hlengiwe's house had no roof (and her mother wasn't home so the oldest person on the homestead was 14 and they had nowhere to sleep with a roof) and my garden was a pool and my house was a swamp (I was planning on mopping the floor anyway so it wasn't really a big deal). But yeah, it was absolutely UNREAL the amount of rain that fell in about 15 minutes. And the WIND! It was incredible.

That's all. Love from the Swaz.